There are a few things about me that have remained constant throughout much of my life: my love of service, my knack for entrepreneurship, and my confusion about how to make a lasting positive impact in the world.

After a previous business failed catastrophically, I found myself at an emotional, mental, spiritual, and financial low. Nothing made sense, and I had no idea what to do next, let alone how to regain the confidence to take another step toward my dreams. In the span of a year, my business crumbled, my relationship at the time fell apart, I wound up nearly homeless, and experienced more betrayal than I could stomach as I navigated one the most challenging times of my life. Through God's grace and the kindness of friends, family, and an old landlord, I thankfully didn't wind up on the street. As you can imagine, I was a complete wreck internally because my life was a mess. The great thing about messes, though, is that they can always be cleaned up.

In the midst of having no money and no idea what to do with myself, an amazing opportunity seemed to fall out of the sky. What's that you may be asking? Well, I got to be a school bus driver! Not the most glamorous job, I know, but I had no idea how transformative it would be for me. Plus, I had nothing else to do and no source of income, so I had nothing to lose by saying yes. This was my first job in over 4 years at that point. I'd sworn I would never go back to working for someone else, and there I was, working for someone else. As grateful as I was to have income again, I also felt like a failure, and questioned what my purpose was.

One of the most challenging aspects of this period in my life was grappling with the realization that although I was surrounded by love and support, I still felt deeply alone. I had of course made choices that led me to that point, and I still felt deeply misunderstood and unseen in one of the most vulnerable times of my life. I began to really sit with and accept feeling out of place as a lifelong struggle for me in my best and worst moments because, regardless of the many blessings I'd received along the journey, I had a persistent feeling of not being in the "right" spaces, situations, or relationships, and I was tired of begging to be seen. I resolved to build a healthier relationship with myself that freed me from the pain of feeling misunderstood and allowed me to step into my purpose to sew kindness, healing, and growth wherever and to whomever was willing to receive it, while also continuing to heal myself. 

Here's the beauty of it all: working with kids reminded me that bravery and determination live within all of us. Seriously, have you seen a kid determined to do, get, or overcome something? They're so brave that they're crazy and slightly delusional. I love it for them because we all deserve to believe in ourselves that much. This experience helped me reset, pick myself back up, and believe once more in my ability to achieve great things, even in the face of immense challenges. It reminded me of the importance of nurturing, entertaining, and challenging my inner child, who had felt invisible for so much of my life.

Through radical self-acceptance, targeted tweaks in my habits, and the willingness to embrace discomfort, I've been able to turn my pain into purpose. While I've learned a few more hard lessons than I'd prefer, I now get to use the wisdom gained from those lessons to help others learn to see themselves as powerful and worthy, regardless of negative experiences that may have made them believe otherwise. I started Elivate Today to humanize the often messy and challenging nature of growth and healing, and uplift those who may feel invisible, forgotten, misunderstood, or just downright depleted. How much of a blessing is that?